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FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT (VIA DON BROWNLEE AND THANKS TO SAME):

Take a brake and sea what your spell checker can do fore
yew.  This just in and I thawed you'd like it.

An Owed to the Spelling Checker

Nem tudom, ismeritek-e ezt a gyongyszemet. Ha nem, jo szorakozast.


 IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?

 As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with
 research help from that reknown scientific journal SPY magazine
 (January, 1990) - I am pleased to present the annual scientific
 inquiry into Santa Claus.

 1)  No known species of reindeer can fly.  BUT there are 300,000
     species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while
     most of these are insects and germs, this does not
     COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has
     ever seen.

 2)  There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the
     world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the
     Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, and Buddhist children, that reduces
     the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to
     the Population Reference Bureau.  At an average (census)
     rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million
     homes.  One presumes there's at least one good child in
     each.

 3)  Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
     different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming
     he travels east to west (which seems logical).  This works
     out to 822.6 visits per second.  This is to say that for
     each Christian household with good children, Santa has
     1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump
     down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the
     remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have
     been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh
     and move on to the next house.  Assuming that each of these
     91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth
     (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes
     of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking
     about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million
     miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at
     least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

     This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
     second, 3,000 times the speed of sound.  For purposes of
     comparison, the fastest man-made vehichle on earth, the
     Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second -
     a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

 4)  The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element.
     Assuming that each child gets nothing more that a medium-
     sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300
     tons, not counting Santa, who is invariablly described as
     overweight.  On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more
     than 300 pounds.  Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see
     point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot
     do the job with eight, or even nine.  We need 214,200
     reindeer.  This increases the payload - not even counting
     the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons.  Again, for
     comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen
     Elizabeth.

 5)  353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates
     enourmous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in
     the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's
     atmosphere.  The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3
     QUINTILLION joules of energy.  Per second.  Each.  In short,
     they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing
     the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in
     their wake.  The entire reindeer team will be vaporized
     within 4.26 thousandths of a second.  Santa, meanwhile, will
     be subjected to centrifigal forces 17,500.06 times greater
     than gravity.  A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously
     slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015
     pounds of force.

 In conclusion - if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas
 Eve, he's dead now.

A mokan nincs ne-tudd-ki. Es miert nincs? Egyebkent meg van, ha valaki
nagyon akarja.

Mert latjatok feleim szumtukkel, hogy van....

Amig Jozsi ki nem szuri ezt is. Akkor probalkozhatunk a kovetkezo trukkel,
amit persze nem tud barki megtenni, de kiszurhetetlen. Mert UNIX alatt,
a gyengebbek alatt, a sendmail-t at lehet verni, es akkor azt ir a feladoba,
amit en akarok.

Ezt a levelemet egyszer mar elkuldtem, de ez a luke visszakuldte azzal, hogy
a mokan nem hajlando torolni a nevemet, de nevvel sem jeleniti meg a cikket.

Ezekutan olyan informacio birtokaba jutottam...

Ha koztunk marad, akkor elarulom, hogy a hix mailer anon neve:

                               

Ha pedig az az en anon cimemre valaszolna valaki, akkor baromira nem fogom
tudni, hogy ki irt nekem, mert mailing is double blinded (na ezt fordijjatok
le, ne a Piroskat!)

Miutan pedig en ezt az anon nevet anon nevkent akarom tovabbra is hasznalni,
alairaskent csak annyit, hogy

Nevem Van..., szoval van nevem, de titok..............
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Nyuszika azt mondja a bagolynak:
- Te bagoly, nekem 200-as az IQ-m es ez annyi gonddal jar, pl. nem 
talalok magamnak egy intellektualis tarsat. Allitsd vissza az IQ-mat.
A bagoly rabolint es visszaallitja 150-re.(Hogy hogyan, azt most ne 
firtassuk.)
A nyul egy het mulva ujra jon es igy szol:
- Te bagoly, a helyzet mit sem valtozott, csokkentsd meg jobban az IQ-
mat.
A bagoly megteszi es beallitja 100-ra. A nyul par nap mulva ismet jon.
- Te bagoly, nagy ez az erdo, sok allat el benne, de en megsem 
talalok megfelelo szellemi tarsat, legyszives allits be az IQ-mat 1-
re.
- Nyuszika - mondja dobbenten a bagoly - az nagyon keves, sok 
problemad lesz emiatt...
- Ne torodj vele, csinald - mondja a nyuszi.
- De nyuszika, tudod, hogy akkor mar menstrualni is fogsz am?!


A kovetkezo vicc meg Grosz Karoly hatalma idejen volt aktualis.
Grosz Karoly utazik a villamoson, ralep egy mellette allo ferfi 
labara, mire az lekever neki egy pofont. Erre a masik oldalan allo 
ferfi is lekever Grosznak egy pofont. Grosz dobbenten mondja:
- Azt meg csak megertem, hogy miert kaptam ontol egy pofont - mondja 
az elso ferfinek - hiszen raleptem a labara. De miert kaptam ontol? - 
kerdezi a masik ferfitol.
- Ja, azt hittem elkezdodott - feleli az.

 

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- Kelemen