Az orszoba unalmat eluzendo, a rendorok keresztrejtvenyt fejtenek.
Az egyik meghatarozasnal azonban Kovacs XIII ormester elakad, es
segitsegert folyamodik:
"Gyerekek, mi az, noi nemiszerv, negy betu?"
Szabo XII. torzsormester visszakerdez:
"Vizszintes vagy fuggoleges?"
"Vizszintes!"
"Akkor SZA'J!!!"

(PS. Ez vajon :-)=  ? [Szakallas vicc???])
AA

Kedves MOKA-zok!

Az alabbi nehany idezet segit megerteni egy bizonyos
software ceg eletet es piaci strategiajat. (Garantaltan
eredeti forrasbol szarmazik.) A cegrol csak annyit hogy
nem nagy es nem kemeny ;-)

Jo szorakozast,

		Mork Peter

 --------------------------------------------------------

 ...understanding Product Strategy...
 "The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving
  your hands and hoping when a rock would do."

 ...understanding Marketing...
 "...what I told you was true...from a certain point of view."
         -Ben Kenobi

 ...understanding Development...
 "The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually,
  the programmer."

 ...understanding Documentation...
 "Why do we expect documentation to accurately describe the
  product when the documentation is written first?"

 ...understanding Product Support...
 "If *I* can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought."
 "Somebody has to save our skins." - Leia Organa

 ...understanding Customers:
 "Any nitwit can understand computers.  Many do."

  Borsheim's Law: "The customer is always lying."

 ...understanding Hardware...
 "Hardware : The parts of a computer system that can be kicked."

 ...understanding Software...
 "Software is written by humans and therefore has bugs." -John Jacobs

 ...understanding Firmware...
 "Software that's harder to patch." -John Jacobs

 ...understanding Operating Systems...
 "Where the operating system is concerned,
  you don't get to ask "Why?"."

 ...understanding DOS:
 "A feature is a bug with seniority."

 ...understanding Windows:
 "An elephant is a mouse with an operating system."

 ...understanding User-Friendly...
 "Nice computers don't go down."

 ...understanding GUIs...
 "If it has syntax, it isn't user friendly."

 ...understanding Memory Management:
 "Any given program will expand to fill available memory."

 ...understanding Mainframes & Minis...
 "Never trust a computer you can't lift."

 ...understanding Intel Architecture...
 "There are two types - those who hate the 8086 architecture, and liars."

 ...understanding Computers' Effect On The Workplace...
 "Computers are a fun way to do the same work you'd have to do without
  them."

 ...understanding Computer Science...
 "Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology."

 ...understanding Programming Languages:
 "I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to
  use than eating soup with a knife."

 ...understanding Error Detection...
 "As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error."

 ...understanding Quality...
 "Meets quality standards:  It compiles."

 ...understanding Organization...
 "I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere."

 ...understanding The Work Environment...
 "If a train station is where the train stops, what's a work station?"


 ...understanding Email...
 "You are in a maze of twisty e-mail messages that all look alike."


 ...understanding Bureaucracy...
 "I am a computer -- dumber than any human and smarter than any
  administrator."


 ...understanding God, The Universe, And How We All Got Here...
 "And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode."


 ...understanding Reality...
 "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."


 ...understanding Cynicism...
 "There's a fine line between an attitude problem and thinking
  clearly."


 ...and the Total Key To Understanding Life At MS:

 "Do not adjust your mind, it is reality that is malfunctioning."_

What not-to-name your dog.

      Everybody who has a dog names him "Rover" or "Spot". I named my
"Sex". Now, Sex has been very embarrasing for me.

- When I went to renew his dog licence, I told the clerk I would like a
licence for Sex. He said: "I would like to have one too!" Then I said:
"But this one is a dog". He said that he didn't care how she looked
like. Then I said: "You don't understand. I have had Sex since I was
nine years old". He said I must have been quite a kid.

- When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a
special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex.
I said: "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night". The clerk
said: "Me too".

- One day I entered Sex in a contest but before the competition began
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing
there looking around. A told him I planed to have Sex in the contest.
He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't
understand" I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV". He called me a
showoff.

- When my wife and I divorced, we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married". The judge
said, "Me too". Ten I told him that after I was married, Sex
disappeared. He said, "Me too".

- Last night Sex ran off again! I spent hours looking around town for
him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this
alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said that I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday.
                        ----------------

Elnezest kerek amiert angolul kozlom ezt a kis tortenetet. Egy idos amerikai
urtol szarmazik (Isten nyugosztalja), az o eloadasaban sokkal jobban ervenye-
sulne. Azt hiszem a forditasban sokat vesztene az eredeti zamatabol.

Udv minden kutya baratnak.
                          Adorjan

A szepseg es az esz szorzata mint tudjuk allando.
Es erosen tart a nullahoz.

Egy kis kitalalos:

Rendor bejut a Van Benne Valami tevemusorba, es hogy 
ne egesse le a rendortarsadalmat megmondjak neki, hogy a
megoldas a 'pingvin', de azert kerdezzen parat, hogy ne 
legyen nyilvanvalo.
Rendor bemegy. Es kerdezi.
-Leulhetek?
-Igen.
-Ragyujthatok?
-Igen.
-Akkor pingvin.

Mas. Helyszin WC.
Az ajton belul felirat: 'Ismered a WC tenisz szabalyait? Nezz Balra.'
Bal oldalt felirat: 'Nezz jobbra!'
Jobb oldalt felirat: 'Nezz balra!'

Egy masik felirat:
'More than free shakes is already a masturbation.'

Most bucsuzom